Listen. Donald Trump is a Hoax. There is nothing to fear as we march on to greatness, greatness intended, by God!, for you and for me and the USA.

We all know that socio-political upheavals have occurred in the past and have worked out just fine in the end. There is nothing unnatural about any of what’s happening.

Please understand the perpetrators of the Hoax of Trump are whiny Liberal do-gooders who just want more free stuff like clean water, adequate healthcare, a healthful environment, clean energy, social justice, reproductive rights, and a whole slew of other job-killing things that hold us back.

Or maybe the perpetrator is Russia, who really wants to use Mr. Trump to help make Russia great again. I’m not sure which, and I don’t care. And you shouldn’t care either.

So listen up, all you Trump alarmists! Fix yourselves a veggie burger and a cup of mint tea. Then sit back and relax as greatness envelops us all. These are exciting times indeed!

(I do confess a little concern about one trifling detail: my Constitutionally Guaranteed First Amendment Right to say what I want without fear of retribution. But I shouldn’t worry, because I know, in my heart, that Donald Trump is just as concerned about it as I am. I take solace in that!)