Understanding the law of cause and effect is central to – critical to – Buddhist practice. In the external world it’s easy to see how this may play out. If I smile at you when we meet, then I am much more likely to get a positive response from you than if I scowl. One could come up with thousands of examples. The point here is that I have a choice in my actions. That is, if I choose my actions wisely, I can influence what happens next. This is not speculation or something I take on faith. I have direct experience with this phenomenon in my own life. Therefore, I know it to be true.

Still, despite what I know to be true, I sometimes work myself into certain unwholesome mind states. Most often it’s because of something someone has said to me or something I have said to myself in the form of a thought. Either way, the result is a bad mood. Sometimes the mood builds gradually, other times it’s instant. Sometimes I can stop it before it gets too far. Other times the mental state gets to the point of no return as the negative, self-critical thoughts churn over and over, reinforcing themselves. Until the mood lifts I’m not very good company.

Through Ajahn Jayasaro’s words I got a clear understanding of the purpose behind practicing the Brahma Viharas – the four sublime mind states of loving kindness, compassion, appreciative joy, and equanimity. These create the mental conditions for spiritual transformation. All that is necessary is training the mind to overcome decades of unskillful practices. This takes place through the combined and ongoing practices of acting forthrightly in the external world of society and the inner world of the mind.

“Gerhards,” he said, “you know what your problem is? Your problem is you’ve go no savior-faire.” I didn’t dare ask what he meant, not wanting to show my ignorance. Yet even though I’d never heard the phrase before, I’d had enough French to eventually figure out the idiom. It means know-how. But it’s more than that. To have savior-faire means to know the right things to say and do in any social situation. I accepted Mike’s assessment without argument. I didn’t know what to say.

Some people have a knack of knowing just what to do in a situation. The converse is not neutrality. It is saying or doing the wrong things, the things that make a situation worse. Socially, then, there is a right way and a wrong way to behave. Those of us with social grace seem to have a much easier time with things than those who don’t. As an introvert I can only imagine what it’s like to be socially graceful.

I discovered that Buddhism is all about savior-faire. I don’t mean to imply that it’s about how to say and do the things that bring prestigious positions and sizable salaries. Rather, it’s about saying and doing the right things. Period. Two of the factors of the noble Eightfold Path are Right Speech and Right Action. Saying and doing. By saying and doing the right things, good things come one’s way. I’ll concede here and now those “good things” may not be money or power or anything else one uses to measure success in the material world. I will also concede that whatever good things one can expect may not be realized anytime soon. In fact, they may be so far in the future that there may be no discernible connection at all.

Does it matter?