I was hanging out with my friend Mike one day after school. I have no recollection of what we were talking about. I do remember, though, what he said in response to something I had said or done. After 40 years – maybe 40 years to the day, because it was in the spring of 1968 – I can still remember those words because in so many respects they ring as true now as they did then.
“Gerhards,” he said, “you know what your problem is? Your problem is you’ve go no savior-faire.” I didn’t dare ask what he meant, not wanting to show my ignorance. Yet even though I’d never heard the phrase before, I’d had enough French to eventually figure out the idiom. It means know-how. But it’s more than that. To have savior-faire means to know the right things to say and do in any social situation. I accepted Mike’s assessment without argument. I didn’t know what to say.
Some people have a knack of knowing just what to do in a situation. The converse is not neutrality. It is saying or doing the wrong things, the things that make a situation worse. Socially, then, there is a right way and a wrong way to behave. Those of us with social grace seem to have a much easier time with things than those who don’t. As an introvert I can only imagine what it’s like to be socially graceful.
I discovered that Buddhism is all about savior-faire. I don’t mean to imply that it’s about how to say and do the things that bring prestigious positions and sizable salaries. Rather, it’s about saying and doing the right things. Period. Two of the factors of the noble Eightfold Path are Right Speech and Right Action. Saying and doing. By saying and doing the right things, good things come one’s way. I’ll concede here and now those “good things” may not be money or power or anything else one uses to measure success in the material world. I will also concede that whatever good things one can expect may not be realized anytime soon. In fact, they may be so far in the future that there may be no discernible connection at all.
Does it matter?
